Mascaras Packed

This morning my cheeks have been a bit tear stained... had to leave this sweet girl and head back to work.  

Sleepyhead Mallie just before I left

Thankfully she gets to stay with her Daddy, and my Mr. Whimsy, but leaving was still pretty hard.  Now its noon and I'm, doing better... so long as no one asks me how I am doing!  I've got my mascara and a set of glasses packed just in case though.

I've been praying for strength and have been blessed with works of encouragement and humor from friends and family.  Thank you.  5 hours + travel time till I'm back home with my love.

Daily Grind Begins Anew...

My days of empty schedules and endless cuddling with my sweet baby girl are slowing coming to an end... I go back to work on Tuesday - and I am a bit heartbroken about leaving my love for a full 8-5 plus travel to and fro.  

A bit of background information - When I considered applying for my current position with my employer earlier this year, I knew I was pregnant.  I honestly did not think about having leaving my baby-to-be behind until a couple days before my interview... then I reconsidered my interest in the job altogether.  After much prayer and discussion, I decided that I would disclose my pregnancy in my interview... and also say that in order for me to accept the job (if it were to be offered) some pretty specific needs of mine would need to be met.  I felt at peace with this and knew that if it was the right position, and employer, then God would take care of the rest.  I prayed that God would give me the right words to say when making my requests during my interview, and that God would open the ears of my interviews and make them open to a creative work arrangement.  Mr. Whimsy and I agreed that if it was God's will then it would happen, and they would be receptive to my needs, and if they weren't, then it was not the right situation for our family.

I got a call a couple days later with a job offer that more than met my needs.  God had a better plan for our family than even I could imagine.

I accepted the job, and until my maternity leave, have enjoyed the position, the challenges and the work/home life balance it has provided me.

Fast forward to last week... in the middle of church, I realized that I only had 12 days until I left my baby and I couldn't help but shed a few tears.  Since then, at the mere mention of going back to work I tear up.  I have been really struggling with letting go to say the least.  I know going back to work is the right thing to do but gosh darn-it, its going to be tough.  

In full disclosure, I will be able to work from home two days out of the week and Mr. Whimsy will be able to stay will Mallie for the majority of the other three days, at least at the beginning.  The days he can't keep her or has to go out of town he will try and bring her to one of our parents house, and if that is not an option, we found a really sweet lady at our church, The Ark, that will keep her as needed.  So, I know I do not have it as bad as many moms that go back to work and have to bring their baby to a day care... but still, letting go is really hard for me.  

REVELATION

When I finished typing the above, I got up to cook dinner... and I had a revelation of sorts, and since I already wrote the above, I figured I would continue to share.  Here goes:   Going back to work and leaving Mallie is going to be hard, really, really hard.  That being said, when I accepted my position, I prayed long and hard about whether or not it was right for me and my family.  I was offered more than I expected when offered the job; it was obvious to me and Mr. Whimsy it was very much God, not merely man at work making the arrangements.  God would not have set up the perfect situation for me in order for me to fail once I got to the finish line (with the finish line being the time I go back to work).  

SO, in conclusion, I know that: 1. God's fingerprints are on my work arrangement and 2. God wants what is best for my family. So, following through with my work arrangement is what is best for my family.  As a Believer, I have to trust that, and my actions have to reflect that.  That does not mean it will be easy but, for now, I know its right.  

This week as I prepare to "let go" and next week as I actually head off to work are going to be huge struggles for me.  I would truly appreciate your prayers for strength, faith and wisdom as I take these next steps.  If any of you super moms have suggestions or advice for me I would REALLY love to hear it!

Until the big day, I am going to get as many lazy morning snuggles in as possible... who can blame me with this girl being my snuggle partner???

Big Day Sunday

Sunday we took (what felt like a monumental) step with Mallie... We left her in the care of the nursery workers during church.  I know it was only an hour or so of separation but it seemed HUGE.  

A little background: We knew we wanted to put Mallie in the nursery during church services since before she was born but it was a matter of timing (as to when she would start going).  She sat through church with us the past few services without any crying or other issues but Mr. Whimsy and I felt it was only a matter of time before our good luck ran out.  I will also be going back to work soon, and at least a day or two out of the week Mallie will need to be watched by someone else... so it seemed like this would be good practice for me in letting her go (and I would only have to "let go" for an hour as opposed to a full day).  

I have mentioned before that we go to The Ark Church in Conroe and LOVE it.  It has an inspiring man of God leading the church and Mr. Whimsy and I always feel fulfilled when leaving services.  It also has, what appears to be, a great kids church and youth program.  Seriously I have never seen kids so excited about going to church as I do when we go to The Ark.  Mallie has several years until she is old enough for the fun activities the church puts on, but when choosing a church home the youth program was more reassurance that The Ark was a perfect fit for our family.  It is a large church but everyone is so nice and accommodating it really does not feel that way (and this is coming from a girl that grew up in a church that had maybe 35ish people go to each church service on Sunday).  

In the Sunday School area we filled out the form and were told Mallie would be in Nursery 1, the youngest of all the nursery classes.  Volunteers (rockers) literally stay in the room and rock and love on the little babies until their parents are done with the church service.  We were given a sticker with a unique number and that number would pop onto the screen during church if Mallie would need us before church let out (if she was crying, needed to be fed, there was an emergency, etc.).  

As soon as we walked up to the class window a super sweet girl about my age came and laid claim to Mallie.  She pretty much said she would hold her the whole service and did not want to share with any of the other "rockers".  She took Mallie and her diaper bag and reassured us everything would be okay and she would take great care of our baby.  About that time, Mr. Whimsy said "well this is the first time we have left her with anyone..." and with those words tears IMMEDIATELY filled my eyes.  And I started crying.  It was pretty embarrassing but the sweet girl again told us it would be okay, they would page us if Mallie needed us at all and I was not the first mom to cry when leaving her baby behind.  I took a deep breath and told myself to walk away - if I was going to cry, I would rather it be in the dark sanctuary where people would not notice as opposed to the bright Sunday School area.  

A few songs into worship my tears dried and I focused on the screen, waiting to see if Mallie's number popped on screen paging us for some emergency. It never came up and when we went to pick her up the girl said she had been holding Mallie since we left and Mallie did not cry (or even know we were missing).  She told us her volunteer schedule and I asked her if she kept babies during the week because we felt so comfortable with her (she said she would but she is a teacher... bummer).

So essentially Sunday was a big day for Momma and Daddy Whimsy... not so much for Mallie.  But that one hour showed me 2 big things. 1. Mallie is okay in the care of others and 2. I've got some toughening up to do before I go back to work and leave her for an entire day.

To sum things up, I am so thankful we have such an amazing church home that puts such a strong focus on kids... and puts their parents as ease with leaving their babies for the first time.  My prayers are that Mallie grows up learning about and loving the Lord and that her church provides a spiritual foundation that will last her throughout her adulthood.  I am also praying we find someone as fantastic as the nursery volunteer to keep our sweet Mallie for a couple days out of the week when I go back to work...  If you have any suggestions in that arena, please send them my way!

If you are looking for a church in the Conroe area I highly recommend checking out The Ark.  Its pretty fantastic.  If you don't want to go by yourself let me know and we can meet up with you there!

My Current Prayers

Pre-blog note: this, and many other blog post referring to Baby Whimsy will be completely unremarkable to the majority of this blogs readers.  If this is you, please fill free to close this pages window and move onto your next blog of choice... I have read that I should have a pregnancy journal for Baby Whimsy but instead of a journal filled with my messy handwriting, I have decided to occasionally blog about things that occupy my time and thoughts when it comes to Baby Whimsy.  Please bear with me, in a few months this blog will be filled with cute pictures and funny stories... until then, you just get me.

And another note - if you are still reading, please know that Mr. Whimsy and I  were very happy to hear that Baby Whimsy looks healthy and is growing at the correct rate according to my latest ultrasound.  This blog post is just on some of the thoughts and prayers I have had being pregnant.

Many of you know that I like to read - a lot.  I have always enjoyed reading, even when I was younger I would take my Babysitters Club books for just about any trip we took, even if we were only going into town.  Today I belong to a book club with a group of girlfriends - and we seriously read and talk about a selected book each month.  I generally am reading about 2-3 books at a time (the book of choice usually depends on my location - i.e. the car, living room, bedroom, etc.).

I have never really actually regretted reading any book (except for one horrible book I picked up in Italy and finished reading because there was nothing else to do while on the train)... that is, I never regretting reading books until I got pregnant.  Now all these interesting stories that provided hours of entertainment in the past have resulting in more and more health concerns that I have for Baby Whimsy.  

Mr. Whimsy and I truly did not have a boy/girl preference, we (like all parents-to-be) just wanted a healthy baby.  We pray(ed) that God would protect the baby while in the womb, as it develops so that it is physically and mentally strong and healthy.  This is when my prayers begin to go down a never ending (and somewhat terrifying) trail, thanks to books.  

I start with prayers for basic health for Baby Whimsy.  Then I remember reading about a baby with brittle bone disease and I pray Baby Whimsy has strong bones.  Then I remember another book with a child that had mental health problems and I pray for a healthy brain.  The week we found out I was pregnant, my book club read a book where one of the characters had a handful of miscarriages - I pray that Baby Whimsy makes it to full term and is a lively child.Then there was that book with the baby with a bad heart waiting for a transplant... can't forget to pray for a strong beating heart.    And the list goes on and on, ranging from rare, one in a million diseases (even made up ones like being a time traveler) to things more common but just as devastating to a family.  

Then after my mind is completely overwhelmed and the different afflictions are ever present I try to get a grip and I tell myself "this child is especially chosen for us, by God.  He (God) will provide and protect."   This usually brings me back to reality and I move on to pray for something that is just as (or really more) important to me for Baby Whimsy.  I pray that we (Mr. Whimsy and I) do our part in bringing Baby Whimsy up in Christ.  I pray Baby Whimsy knows God, relies on God, trust in God, and above all, is a Child of God.  

It sounds silly but I have noticed when there is a particularly moving song in church, or the preacher says something I really want to remember, I put my hand on my belly and, as silly as it sounds, I want Baby Whimsy to get/know/absorb that thing.  I know the baby can't hear yet but I still find myself hoping to ingrain worship songs and Bible verses into its soul. Its kind of my way of telling Baby Whimsy "if you are born knowing only one thing, know this one.  Its important."

Our church (which we LOVE and recommend to anyone looking for a church home) is The Ark in Conroe.  Our preacher, Pastor Alan, regularly reminds the congregation that it is the parents role to bring a child up in Christ, and if he/she is brought up in Christ, he/she will have that foundation for the rest of their lives.  I pray that Baby Whimsy has a foundation in Christ to rely on in the future.

So, those are my current prayers for Baby Whimsy... physical, mental and spiritual.  For the time being I am (trying) to stay away from sad books with stories about kids/babies.  

Moms - am I completely crazy or are these types of thoughts somewhat normal?  What type of things did you find yourself obsessing about?

Life Update :: Busy Busy Busy

Well I am officially 3 days away from the halfway (20 week) point in my pregnancy.  My icky pregnancy symptoms have gotten much better - I still get a bit sick in the morning and when I smell something with strong food odors (I stay away from the fridge if there are leftovers in it) but all in all, I am feeling way better.  Funny side note - I have become a quasi vegetarian during this pregnancy.  Right now most meat products completely gross me out... that is except for ground taco meat.  Mexican food remains a safe bet... which is not a bad thing!

I have not blogged lately because I have been flat out busy.  Rather then me taking life by the horns, I kind of feel like I have been quasi strapped in for a crazy roller coaster and I better hold on otherwise I will be sent flying over the edge (long run on sentence intended... I am lacking control people!).  I am certain that with prayer and determination that soon I will again take back reigns though.

I have been pretty tired and worn out but that is probably just as much due to my starting a new job then this pregnancy.  I had been working for the past 2ish years with Mr. Whimsy's company but was offered a great opportunity in the tourism industry this past month.  The job is a constant (and everyday eye opening in a new way) challenge but I honestly think it has really helped with my feeling better because I am constantly going and my mind is working overtime.  

In addition to the new job and preparing for Baby Whimsy, my renal company, LindseysWhimsys, has taken off.  I never expected it to grow as fast as it has but its very exciting.  I pray that I make wise, strategic business decisions and take full advantage of this ever growing business.  

Despite the out of controlness of it all, I know that Mr. Whimsy, Baby Whimsy and I have been incredibly blessed.  We have prayed for opportunities and they have come at us in abundance and for that I am very very thankful.  We can look at our lives and see very clearly that God answers prayers and constantly provides and that is an incredible thing to have experienced first hand.

Oh - and friends, I can not forget - APRILFEST 2012 is set!  We will be playing at the house the last Saturday in April, the 28.  Mark your calendars now (if I do not have your email, please send it to me if you want the official evite - lindseyswhimsys@gmail.com).  A theme has not been set so if you have suggestions, please let me know!

I promise to do a dedicated Baby Whimsy post soon... I just wanted to give a quick update on our lives.  

Big News!!!

Joe and I are expecting a new addition to our family July 2012!  We are very excited (and quite nervous) about it and know that God has a great plan for us.

My due date is July 30, 2012 and as of today I am 12 weeks along.  More (frequent) updates to follow, stay tuned!!!

Prayers Please

This past weekend, my Grandma fell and cracked her hip bone.  If you could please keep her in your prayers, I would appreciate it.  Also, please include her doctors, nurses, and other caretakers in your prayers - that they are well rested, show her compassion and provide healing and comfort.  Thanks!

LindseysWhimsys is now on Etsy!

After my and Joe's wedding invitations went out, I received several comments about how much people like them and how unique they were. This was extremely self esteem boosting for me, as I designed the invitations myself (I did have help from an amazing group of women that helped me assemble them), and was very nervous about their acceptableness as a wedding invitation.

Thanks to these wonderful comments from friends and encouragement from my amazing husband, I have decided to open shop of Etsy and sell these invites, completely assembled, to other brides. The stores name is, of course, LindseysWhimsys.

Hopefully (fingers crossed and prayers sent), the venture will be a fun success. If it is, we already have other ideas of areas to get into including kids name/calling cards, baby announcements, etc. When you get a chance, I would love for you to check out my shop (I only have one item so far but will be adding more), pass along suggestions/feedback, and tell future brides about LindseysWhimsys on Etsy!

The invitations:

And here are the wedding programs:

Prayers for JoAnna and Family

Early this morning my good friend JoAnna's lovely mother passed away after a long fight with cancer. Mrs. Hetzel was a wonderful mother, wife and friend who will be missed.

While there is no doubt that Mrs. Hetzel is at peace in heaven with her Lord and Savior, her family and friends miss and ache for her.

Please keep JoAnna and her family in your prayers in the days, weeks, and months to come.